Because The Hardest Part Of This Is Leaving You
by SevenDeadlySins6
Summary: Because all good things have to end. What appeared to be a common cold was hiding something much more sinister underneath. Sadstuck, AU, Humanstuck, Character death, mainly John/Dave with some Eridan/Sollux in there too. Loosely influenced by Cancer by MCR.


_**Well, this is my first official fanfic. Yeah. It's kinda depressing. I was reading it in math class and I started tearing up. It's weird how I teared up when I read it, but I was fine when I wrote it…**_

_**Hm…**_

_**Anyways, yeah… If you don't like EriSol, just replace whose ever name you want to to suit what pairing you like; I just wanted to include some in here because I have started shipping it HARD lately. But I notice not a lot of people like it? Or am I just not seeing it? Either way, please don't just… NOT read this because of the EriSol. It's mainly John/Dave, so you can live through the EriSol. Or at least I hope you can.**_

_**Something convenient I just thought I'd share; the sickness I created for him wasn't originally planned, I just wrote some stuff that shows sickness, and I looked it up and very conveniently they were the exact symptoms for something. Yeah, notice how I don't tell you what the sickness is? Just look at the song I was kinda influenced by and you'll have the answer.**_

_**Actually, this stories origin is a bit weird. I didn't write this out of a random burst of inspiration, or because I got the idea from Cancer (I just listened to it while I wrote, so I included some parts in it), it was because I needed to write a story for school.**_

_**So, naturally, I choose a John/Dave Sadstuck.**_

_**Hm.**_

_**This author's note is long. . Sorry.**_

_**Well, enjoy I suppose. I guess it's hard to enjoy someone dying, but yeah.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Homestuck or the lyrics. ( Yes, there is one verse in here.)**_

Dave watched as they wheeled John away on a stretcher. He despised the world, himself, and the situation he was in. Eyes concealed behind shades were filled with scorn and sadness. He thought of all the things that might have changed where they were now. Maybe if they hadn't waited so long; maybe if they hadn't simply brushed it off as a 'cold', things wouldn't have gotten this serious. Maybe if they had just gone to the doctor to see if things were okay, this wouldn't have happened. John had a record of being sickly when he was younger, some cases more severe than others, of course. Sometimes it was just a minor cold, other times things seemed to extend beyond that and he'd end up resting in the hospital for a day or two, but nothing like what had happened in the past week.

It started as a 'common cold', or at least it seemed to. It got progressively worse, however, and he'd shown signs of having something much more sinister as time went on. Just yesterday, things had gotten worse than they've ever been before. John woke up in the middle of the night with a burning fever, and then proceeded to throw his guts up in the toilet.

Dave mentally slapped himself for not being cautious when the signs were this obvious, this clear. As soon as this occurred, he should have been calling the doctor to make sure everything was okay with John.

He didn't, though, and that's the price he paid. For just ten minutes ago, things had hit their peak, and John's body couldn't take it. It started with a violent coughing fit, which escalated into his body lurching while he coughed up blood, over and over again. Then he fell to the ground, unable to get up, still coughing up blood, blood, and more blood. It started to look as though he had trouble breathing, and he was having difficulties controlling his body. Then everything went black for him, his breathing still shaky and ragged, all of his limbs limp. He was a terrible pallor color, almost as if he was a ghost. His breathing began to get rugged, and all Dave was able to do was stand, paralyzed with shock, before hurrying as fast as he could to call an ambulance.

Unable to ride in the back of the ambulance because he wasn't related, and apparently "boyfriend" wasn't classified as a significant other, he had opted to running as fast as he could down the street. If he had one thing to be glad about, if would have to be that the hospital wasn't that far from the house. He legs went numb from the cold night air, but he pressed on. He could imagine the world sneering at his misery right now, laughing haughtily and criticizing him, pitying him for being such a pathetic life form, while riding in a shiny limousine, wreathed in glory.

The happiness he had with John… he'd like to think it was a fraud, all to lead up to his heart smashing in a million pieces as each second dragged on, but he knew it wasn't true, and he couldn't believe any of it. It had been genuine, real, and _perfect. _But all good things had to end, and this was the closing on what Dave believed to be the best thing his life had to offer.

He wished he could say he wanted vengeance on the world, but he couldn't. The only thing he wanted vengeance on was himself, for not noticing how serious it had been. John had barely even been able to get out of bed, yet he still didn't think it was bad enough to call a doctor or go to the hospital.

He shook his head. Now was not the time to be thinking about this, he needed to focus on getting to the hospital. When he finally arrived, he looked at the glass doors for a moment before springing into action. He threw open the doors with great force, causing tumult, and earning a number of stares from guests nearby. All unfamiliar faces, except… was that Sollux? No, he didn't have time to think about that; the main thing on his mind was John, the one he was eternally amorous to, and vice versa.

He ran up to the desk at record speeds and opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the receptionist.

"I hope you understand just how rude you are being. There are people here whose loved ones are in great pain. Be a tad more sensitive please." She spat, hands on her hips. Even though she used polite words, even 'please' was dripping in venom. She pushed a stray strand of her short black hair back into place, all the while glaring at him with forest green eyes.

Dave could almost throw his hands up in frustration, but now was not the time. Instead, he answered as calmly as he could manage in his panicked state. "Sorry, but I have someone _very_ important to me that may not be on the brink of death." He was surprised he was able to say it without either choking on his words or sobbing.

She still glared, but her eyes softened. "I'm very sorry to hear that, sir, but still, be considerate."

Dave nodded softly as he asked "There was an ambulance that should have arrived not too long ago… Do you have any information about the patient that was in it?"

Her softened look turned into one of sadness and pity. She swallowed before answering, "Yes, the patient needed immediate medical attention, which he is still in the process of receiving. The doctors are trying to stabilize his breathing, and then they need to run some tests on his current condition." She paused a moment, as if letting the information sink in, before continuing, "Obviously, you cannot be there for the process, so if you'll have a seat in the waiting room. If I may ask, what is your relation to the patient?"

"…Boyfriend." Dave asked, barely managing to speak as he suppressed a sob.

She raised an eyebrow, not disapproving, it was more on the curious side, but didn't say anymore about it. "Alright, we'll get back to you when you can see him…Um…"

"Dave." Dave answered, speaking in barely a whisper, fighting tears.

"Right. We'll get back to you on that, Dave. The waiting room is right over there." She gestured to a door labeled 'Waiting Room' that was just down the hall.

Dave nodded, unable to speak, and walked down the hall. He was about to open the door when he heard something…

"Oh, Kanaya, I have some files that Dr. English asked me to have you organize." A nurse with short platinum blonde hair, the same color as Dave's, and bright pink eyes, walked from the opposite hall, apparently talking to the receptionist.

"Oh, Rose. I'll get right on that. How are things going so far?" Kanaya's voice sounded careful; as if she was unsure if it was in her place to be asking that.

Rose sighed sadly, "They were able to get him breathing again, but… Well, I guess a way to put it is that he may have been better off if it had resulted in failure. This is going to be painful for him- agonizing, even- and the chances of him surviving after all that fighting are low…"

Kanaya's mouth formed a small 'o' before she spoke, "Oh, gosh… That's terrible… What about the other patient?"

"Ah, yes, that…" Her voice went down cast, "Very bad chance so far, he'll probably be gone within the half hour…"

Dave couldn't take any more of the sad news, he opened the door softly, the complete opposite of how he entered the hospital. This behavior was completely out of character for him, but he couldn't help it. The news was just too much; he wasn't even meant to hear it, but he did, and it broke his heart more knowing the one he loved was going to die.

He clutched the amulet John gave him all those long years ago in sadness. Would this and his glasses, which he also got from him, be all the physical mementos he had left to remind him of John?

His heart ached impossibly more that the thought. He didn't want John to go; he didn't want the first and only person he ever loved to leave him. He didn't want the 7 years of happiness he had with John to end yet. His hands shook and a sob escaped his lips and the crystal tears he so desperately tried to keep at bay flowed freely down his face. His fire red eyes- concealed behind his glasses- were glassed over in salty tears. He took a shaky breath and scanned the room the best he could with his tear-blurred eyesight when his eyes fell upon Sollux Captor, a friend of his and John's, with an equally sad and distressed face as he had. He walked over and sat next to him, opening his mouth to utter a greeting, but the words died in his throat. He noticed Sollux was having the same problem, but eventually Sollux managed to speak.

"Hey, there… Dave…"

Dave deemed it rude not to reply, so he swallowed deeply before answering, "H-Hey, Sollux…"

All the words necessary had been said, so the conversation died out quickly. A few other people in the room conversed quietly among themselves, but other than that there was an eerie silence, the kind that just held up a sign that something terrible was going to happen.

Both Dave and Sollux could feel it, but they each had a different situation in mind when they thought of the terrible event that was going to occur.

Finally, after a good fifteen minutes of the two boys' engrossed in thoughts that only made them want to cry harder, Dave found his voice again, and spoke in a quiet, hesitant voice.

"Worst question to ask, but what happened to you?" He was fairly surprised he didn't stutter or sob in his sentence.

"Ah, well…" Sollux took a deep breath a replied, "Eridan got violently assaulted on the street today. He has numerous deep gashes all over his body… There isn't a good chance of him surviving. He's probably going to die of blood loss- his assaulter got him right in the stomach. There's too much damage to his organs… Dave, he…" Sollux couldn't finish his sentence, and he started sobbing into his hands.

Dave felt a tang of both sympathy and empathy for Sollux. Both had a boyfriend who was currently in agony, and both probably wouldn't make it out alive.

"Yeah man, I guess I can kind of relate…"

Sollux looked up at this, before hesitantly asking, "What do you mean?"

"You see…" Dave sighed, trying to find the words without stumbling on them, "John is sick. Not the normal kind of sick, either. He's really, really sick. I overheard that the chances of him surviving are low…" He voice dimmed down to barely a whisper before more tears streaked his face.

Sollux was double-devastated now. His boyfriend and his close childhood friend were both leaving… at the same time. No more words could be said; too much sad news had reached their ears, and now all they could do was cry as sobs racked their bodies.

What came next only topped off everything.

"Mr. Captor?" Kanaya's voice said, quiet and hesitant, as if she was about to break bad news… and break bad news she did.

Sollux waved his hand to show he was here, and he face softened again before asking, "Can I see you in the hallway for a moment?"

Sollux nodded grimly, already knowing what was going to be said. Dave shot him a look of sympathy, but he ignored it and stood, walking to the door and disappearing behind it.

There was silence for a moment, and then the door opened and revealed a sobbing, crying Sollux. He didn't even need to speak the words for Dave to know what happened. Sollux spoke didn't say anything, he just sobbed and grabbed his jacket from the chair he was sitting in, and disappeared out the door again.

Now Dave could only pray the time when Kanaya would take him out in the halls and break the news to him didn't come.

He almost felt like his jinxed himself when Kanaya appeared in the doorway again and called his name. He looked up worriedly, scanning her face for bad news, but was soon reassured by her voice.

"Don't worry, Dave. He's not gone yet. We do have an update for you on him, though."

Dave shot up from his chair and walked over to her. She shut the door softly behind them.

"The doctors ran some tests, and it appears that he has lung cancer, and it has gone untreated for extended periods of time, so it's probably too advanced by now to treat…" Her voice carried regret. No matter now many times she had to break bad news to people, it was still painful to announce to someone the person the loved was either dead or dying.

Dave's breath hitched and his eyes watered all over again. He was going to loose John to lung cancer, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Xoxoxoxoxoxox TIME SKIP xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoX

It had been a week since it all happened, and now Dave was sitting in a chair next to John's hospital bed, trying to hold up a conversation with him. He was a lot worse, his face was a sickly pale, he was tired all the time, and he had trouble moving his limbs without having them shake like leaves in the fall breeze. Even through all of this, John continued to have a positive attitude, like he did his whole life. He would laugh as best he could without having a coughing fit, and he would smile despite how chapped his lips were, or how close his death was. He could count the days he had left on his fingers, and Dave's heart broke a little more everyday, knowing such a beautiful human would be leaving soon. A lot of people shared his feelings on this, though. Kanaya and Rose had become well acquainted with both boys, and they applauded John's high spirits, even though he was dying. They also got a visitor who worked for a charity that asked questions to John, Dave, Kanaya and Rose on how they were feeling. Sollux visited too, already heartbroken over Eridan's going, even more so that John was packing his bags as well.

Now, though, he was the only one in the room. He looked over at John, who was reading a book on pranks. Dave took in how the unruly black hair that used to cover John's head had disappeared. The thing he noticed most, though, was how John's sky blue eyes hadn't lost any of the bright color they had. Even as his skin paled, his eyes continued to shine brightly. His eyes were so easy to get lost in; it was almost as if you were seeing the sea and the sky.

"I just hope you know… That if you say goodbye today, I'd ask you to be true… Because the hardest part of this is leaving you…"

The words all died in Dave's throat when he heard John say that. As the last syllable faded, the sound on the heart rate monitor started to grow slower.

"No, no, no!" Dave cried out. He gripped John's cold hand, a look of desperation in his eyes. His blood ran cold and salty tears ran down his face. He got up to call a nurse, but John stopped him with the little strength he had left to talk.

"No, Dave. It's not going to do any good, this is my leaving point. The last request I have for you is to stay by my side and hold my hand when I go." John smiled sadly.

Dave sat back down, and held John's hands, tried to warm its fading heat with his own. He didn't want to accept this, it wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair! Why did John of all people have to go? He didn't do anything wrong, he didn't do anything to deserve this.

"Can you do me one last thing…?" John's voice was quiet and strained, and Dave couldn't even imagine how hard it was for him to talk right then.

"Anything." Dave answered, struggling to talk through tears.

"Can you… see me off… with a smile?" The look on John's face was so pleading than Dave had to comply.

So he did. He smiled one last smile for John, and he must have looked so strange, smiling while tears ran freely down his face. Yet John accepted it with a small smile of his own, just as the shallow beeps faded into nothing, and his eyes closed one final time, with his last words…

"_I love you…"_

He was gone. He was gone and he wasn't coming back. Dave cried freely now, sobs violently racking his body. He knew he had to carry on, though. He knew he wouldn't be able to love anyone, but he couldn't give up on life. John would be so disappointed in him, and that's not how he wanted to be reunited with him. So he vowed to himself he would live, live for both himself and John, until his true time of departure arrived.

And live he did. He made the most out of life as he could; something John always did, and always told Dave he should do it to, instead of being such a pessimist.

Every year, on the day John died; he'd visit his grave and sit. He'd sit, and he'd smile as best he could for John. He'd remember all the times John had said he had a nice smile, and he should do it more often.

He and Sollux became better friends, and each helped each other trough their respective losses. They had jobs, made a nice amount of money, and lived decently, both knowing this is what their lovers would have wanted if they were still here.

They carried on, doing what was best, knowing that at the end, they'd be able to see the one they wanted to see most. Because although all good things have to come to an end, all bad things have to end as well, and the one who lives with only good intentions, and speaks only words of kindness, will be shown the same thing in return.

_**GUH.**_

_**What am I doing.**_

_**Review?**_


End file.
